My last days in DC…
It’s hard to describe what I’m feeling right now. Last week was a week of hard-core packing in preparation for the move. I donated some of my furnitures. I decided that I wanted to live more simply. Things are just things. Don’t get me wrong, I love having things and getting new things. I’m just learning that it’s okay to let go of things because in the end, they are just material things. There are much more important things in life I’d rather be focusing on.
Last Friday, moving help arrived to pack up everything into the UHaul box pod. My apartment is so empty right now and it feels very weird. Simply put, I’m just camping out until my departure day. I mean, literally…
What I have left in the apartment are a few boxes (that couldn’t fit into the UHaul box pod), Bible, laptop computer, my “deaf” clock with a wake up vibrator, a small saucepan, a plastic plate, plastic utensils, personal blender, a few cleaning supplies, toiletries, clothes I need, cooler, left over food, and this beautiful bed I made as comfortable I can get it. I think that’s about it. Basically I have very little right now. My room is completely cleaned out. In the picture above, you see my “bed” made in the dining room. I packed up the vacuum cleaner so I didn’t want to get the carpet dirty in the bedroom. All of my clothing items are stored in the coat closet by the kitchen.
The feeling is surreal. A part of me is having a hard time letting go, but another part of me is so excited for a new chapter of my life. A part of me is savoring every moment I have left, but another part of me is SO ready to move on!
In the process of living a VERY simple life since last Friday, I’ve come to a realization that I have been overtly distracted by many things. My mind started to become more clear. I’ve started to slow down. My ability to listen to the voice of God has increased. So, in the last few days has been quite pleasant. The urge of being distracted has reduced. My anxiety level has improved. Simplicity apparently is what I needed.
In the mornings when I wake up, I’ve had more time to think and really enjoy my breakfast without having my face glued to the computer or my phone. My lunches, dinners, and snack times have been freed up in a way that I actually pay attention to my food and savor every bite. I literally hold the plate in my hand, walk around, and enjoy every bite while looking out of my balcony with thoughts coming and going. It has been pleasant. I’ve stocked up on the remains of what I had the previous week so I’d save money this week by eating “left overs.”
Black Bean, Rice, & Vegetable Salad
White Bean, Barley, & Vegetable Salad
Portion size (I have like 15 of them!)
With very minimum distractions, my attention seem to be more fully towards listening to the voice of God. I’m actually in constant communion with him and seeking His direction. It’s really what I need right now with what’s ahead of me. There are some uncertainties that I’m still trying to figure out. I’ve also been reminded that it’s important to stay close to him at ALL times. Not just in a time of need. But at ALL times. Somewhere along the way I seemed to allow my busyness & distractions take control of my life. The last few days has been a great reminder for me. This verse comes to my mind during this time:
“He says, ‘Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
It seems to me that in the last few days I’ve been less concerned with time. Rather than being demanding of myself that I needed to get certain things done at a certain time or be at a certain place or such; I’ve gone with the flow a little more. I’ve forgotten how to do that. I have been the kind of person that sets a rigid schedule I’d follow. A minute more or a minute less throws things off course, or so it seems. I’m enjoying more of living with more fluidity.
“If God gives you a watch, are you honoring Him more by asking Him what time it is or by simply consulting the watch?” – A.W. Tozer
In my last days in DC, I still have been busy taking care of important errands and getting some work done before leaving town. I’ve also learned that even during my busy times, I can still experience minimal distractions.
What are some things in your life that is making you feel like you’ve gone off course? And what can you do to change that?
In two days, I’m out of here! I am SO looking forward to a long personal road trip. There will be a lot of reflections, mediations, prayers, memories, and thankfulness. As I close out my last chapter, I’m entering a brand new chapter. What does the future hold for me? I don’t know. And that’s exciting. All I can say is…
Lord, bring it on!